Jo Koy’s opening monologue as host of the Golden Globes was probably the longest of his life.

For an excruciating six-and-a-half minutes, the stand-up comedian was left fighting for his life as joke, after joke, after wretched joke missed every single mark, including that he’d lied to organisers that he’d watched all the films and TV shows nominated.

“Oppenheimer is based on a 721-page, Pulitzer Prize-winning book about the Manhattan Project. And Barbie is based on a plastic doll with big boobies,” got a stony reaction, as did his reference to Robert De Niro recently becoming a father again: “Your last performance is going to be your greatest performance ever,” Koy said: “How did you get her pregnant at 80? CGI?”

The most notable reaction of the night was that of Taylor Swift after Koy zeroed-in on the singer.

“As you know, we came on after a football double header,” Koy said. “The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL? On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift, I swear. There’s just more to go to here.”

Swift maintained a straight face and took a sip from her drink.

Koy added, “sorry about that.”

Swift has often appeared at NFL games and in coverage since she began dating Kansas City Chiefs’ Travis Kelce.

To be fair, Koy blamed his performance on the fact he was only called up to host the gig just days prior.

“Some [jokes] I wrote, some other people wrote. Yo, I got the gig ten days ago, you want a perfect monologue? Shut up. I wrote some of these, and they’re the ones you’re laughing at.”

Hosts such as Ricky Gervais or Tina Fey would usually have months to prepare.

Doesn’t make it any less cringe.

You can watch the whole thing here…

golden globes Jo Koy